Clearly, it was inappropriate for Obama to address the female reporter as “Sweetie.” This trivializes her professional status and causes her colleagues to make “kissy-face” noises behind her back in the staff lunchroom.

Instead, he should have used one of the honorifics that women have earned by bringing their gentle, nurturing sensibilities to newsrooms far and wide:

Bitch. Barracuda. Shark.

(If you don’t believe me, ask anyone who’s worked in the business.)

It’s somewhat reminiscent of something someone (I forget who, or in what context, so this quotation is approximate) said a few years ago:

“You have to remember, they [the Washington press corps] are probably the most cynical, hardbitten, foul-mouthed, hard-drinking group of people in America.

(beat)

“And the men are even worse.”

Judging by the reaction, he left off one critical adjective: “Humourless.”

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Hillary Clinton aims to soften her image. It isn’t working.

Warning: YouTube video. Also, the title of this post is not strictly accurate.

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A clever and very well done animation, about eight minutes long. It’s by Blur Studio, a leading computer graphics firm, creator of the Academy Award-nominated Gopher Broke.

Update: Whoops. I see that Andrew’s already beaten me to the punch (and that Wordpress won’t let me embed videos). Oh well, the second clip is quite amusing if you want to take a look at it.

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Nintendo probably doesn’t need my advice, but I think that this little fella would make a tremendous spokesbaby.

Warning: Unearthly laughter. I think the kid might be possessed.

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Now that’s entertainment! And this, and this.

Warning: Sounds. Also, judging by the comment threads at YouTube, some people seem to find it disturbing:

jaathan

This was suppose to be a fun toy for kids. You retards. Go get a life.

xcountryflyer

Utterly horrible!

Twis7ed

How was this funny at all? Are you all immature boys that didn’t mature?

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Warning: Cheesy music of some sort.

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is a German firm that specializes in computer graphics for movies. It’s presently working on the upcoming 300, an adaptation of Frank (Sin City) Miller’s graphic novel about the Battle of Thermopylae.

A couple of demos, showing various water, smoke and fire effects; and the crash landing of a jet.

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Or when it doesn’t, like when this moron breaks into a liquor store.

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A short film by Bruno Bozzetto that apartment-dwellers should be able to relate to. There’s probably some subtle point to the jets taking off, but it’s all a bit over my head.

Warning: Music and sfx.

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Alan Becker’s Animator vs. Animation (above) was an amusing story of an animated stick figure at war with its creator, trashing his Flash software in the process. Now he’s come out with the sequel, where the little monster destroys the rest of his computer.

Link. Note that it isn’t embedded—you’ll need to click on the “watch film” button at the left (and sit through a short commercial) to play it. Warning: Sound effects.

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Wow. I’m not a fan of many editorial cartoonists, but I’ll have to make an exception for Nick Anderson of the Houston Chronicle.

I’d never given it much thought, but there’s no reason why a talent for caricature and satirical wordplay shouldn’t be transferable to a new medium.

Thus, Hillary’s Baggage, an animation using 3-D software and set to a parody of the Black Eyed Peas’ “My Humps.” Very well done.

If you want to get an idea just how humorless Hillary-lovers and Hillary-haters can get, scroll down to read some of the comments.

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Kill! Kill! Kill!

But gently, with paintballs.

There don’t seem to be any limits on ammo, and you automatically reload, so go crazy.

There’s music and sound effects, but the only hazard is collecting virtual welts.

If you want to see people collecting real welts, how about some naked paintball?

Warning: Language, and, er, nudity. I leave it to you to guess the sex of the pantsless participants. You really don’t think that women would be this dumb, do you?

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already has a new job. (Warning: Audio. Also, YouTube’s been a bit flaky tonight.)

I guarantee this is the strangest video you’re going to see this week—nay, this decade. It’s from some kind of Japanese game show where contestants attempt to shout out tongue-twisters.

Failure is not an option. Warning: Violence, albeit of a humorous nature. When it happens to someone else, that is.

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I hesitate to call this “martial arts” unless it’s in the category of best comic performance. The “William Tell” routine made me laugh harder than the last three Hollywood comedies put together.

Warning: Blood-chilling battle cries, usually followed by the sickening thump of flab on the wrestling mat.

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A shoot-’em-up. I at first thought that the object was to break all the bottles. This is what happens when you don’t read the instructions.

What you’re trying to do is shoot the caps off the bottles. So you see, it’s not mindless violence. It’s a contest of skill.

Unlike this way of opening bottles, which, frankly, is insane.

Warning: Both links have sounds, etc.

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Steve H. at “target=”new”>Hog On Ice is convinced that all TV weathermen are gay. I don’t know if that’s a fair categorization or not; however, this guy tends to lend credence to his theory.

Click picture to start. Warning: Much shrieking.

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was originally composed for three violins and basso continuo (a bass-chord combination like cello and harpsichord). Jeong-Hyun Lim, who’s only been playing for six years, manages to combine all of that into an electric guitar (with a bass-and-drum backing track) tour de force.

The first time I saw this I was impressed. The second time I saw it I was amazed.

You ordinarily can’t get those complex syncopations without using some variant of fingerpicking, i.e., using the fingers of the strumming hand to separately pluck and chord, while the thumb hammers out an independent bass line. But look at his right hand. He’s playing all of this with a pick. That’s dazzling technique.

The New York Times, which tracked him down, was “target=”new”>similarly impressed:

...it require[s] high-level mastery of a singularly demanding maneuver called sweep-picking.

Over and over the guitarists left hand articulated strings with barely perceptible movements, sounding and muting notes almost simultaneously, and playing complete arpeggios through a single stroke with his right hand.

The Times piece requires free registration, but it’s nothing too complicated: Just your real-or-fake name, a password, and country, if I recall correctly.

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I first thought that the song was called “On Treadmills” because that’s the title that comes up on the video. You know, a deeply philosophical treatise, something like John Stuart Mill’s On Liberty, but with more exercise equipment.

I should have known better. The band is OK Go; the song is “Here It Goes Again”; and the treadmills are mere stage machinery.

If these guys ever decide to stop writing catchy pop music, they may have a future as a professional synchronized swimming team.

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Wolfmother is an Australian power trio that’s just now getting some traction in this part of the world. This song, “Woman,” dates back to last year.

It’s an interesting video. From what I understand, they printed out every frame of a performance, and then re-filmed them in sequence, like an animation, adding effects.

The music? Tight and energetic rock. The singer/guitarist, Andrew Stockdale, sounds uncannily like a young Robert Plant. He also looks and dresses uncannily like Ronald McDonald. Unless there’s some intended irony at play, he might want to get the image consultants working on that.

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He hydroplanes!

He separates!

He decapitates!

He disintegrates!

He levitates!

He inebriates! Hey, this one actually looks useful.

Warning: All links are to embedded video with sounds and whatnot.

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Chuck 3000 and his homies shake it like a Polaroid.

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I posted about this a couple of days ago and couldn’t resist putting up another clip.

I’ve since found out that these come from a Fuji TV program called Zuiikin English. To quote from its webpage:

Program just according to title, those which adjust gymnastics to the English conversation. Each time with beginning, this English conversation will be made to remember to explanation and that muscle of the muscle which is forged in the time! With program keeps advancing under the concept which is said. First, there is a dramatic sketch of the kind of situation which uses the English conversation, image stops at the place where that conversation is made. Suddenly, ZUIIKIN GALS 3 of the leotard form appearing the oral [zu] while seeing, in the set like certain bureau gymnastics program, the English conversation vigor it repeats the gymnastics which it adjusts to tempo well. Just, you say that the nature and the English conversation are attached to the body in the movement and simultaneous, it is the program which should curve. As for the muscle which 1st is forged by the way with time thigh direct muscle.

Er, rather, to quote from the Google translation of the webpage. In any event it was (the program doesn’t seem to be broadcast anymore) a whimisical way of teaching English. Here’s a more contextual view of how it worked. (The ridiculous guy with the handkerchief on his head is apparently a “dorobo,” a subspecies of Japanese criminal. Probably a very unsuccessful breed, at least as far as disguises go.)

Who knows? Maybe this fusion of kinesis and language serves as a useful aide-mmoire.

Though I would find it disconcerting to talk to an attractive Japanese woman and have her break out in a display of calisthenics.

Mind you, I would find it disconcerting to talk to an attractive Japanese woman, period. But that’s just me.

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Possibly the strangest workout video ever, not least for the weird Japlish exhortations, which seem to cover proper robbery etiquette and/or typical secretarial pool chatter.

The music is a good fit, though.

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Those

darn

monkeys!

Warning: Links open up embedded video with music and sounds.

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forgot my six-string razor – hit the sky
half way to Memphis ‘fore i realised
well i rang the information – my axe was cold
they said she rides the train to oreoles

mott the hoople

FAA radar tracking FedEx planes trying to land at Memphis amidst a string of thunderstorms. Watching this, I have two observations:

1. They certainly play peppy music in the control tower; and

2. Has FedEx got a freaking unbelievable number of airplanes, or what?

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Try it at someone else’s place.

The old flour-in-the-hair-dryer stunt, eh? How childish.

Powdered wallpaper paste is much funnier.

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we’re leaving together
but still it’s farewell
and maybe we’ll come back
to earth, who can tell

europe

You might recall a rather cheesy 80s hit, The Final Countdown, by the Swedish band Europe. Or you might not. Either way, this is the worst version of it you will ever hear, performed by some godawful band at a country fair or something. At least the audience seems to be digging it.

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I’ve never seen any of the Die Hard movies. I was surprised to find that the franchise dates back to this 1924 silent version, complete with tinkly piano accompaniment. I wish I knew what Bruce Willis’s beauty secrets are. He certainly looks good for a 106-year-old man, doesn’t he?

It’s Christmas, 1924, and young Manhattanite John McClane visits olde Los Angeles towne to see his wife and enjoy yultide splendor. However, a few ne’er-do-wells have plans of their own, and C4.

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