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Oct 13

If Bush got totally fed up…

Category: Amusements, Politics

The speech George W. Bush might give:

Normally, I start these things out by saying ‘My Fellow Americans.’ Not doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don’t know who more than half of you are anymore. I do know something terrible has happened, and that you’re really not fellow Americans any longer.

I’ll cut right to the chase here: I quit.

Now before anyone gets all in a lather about me quitting to avoid impeachment, or to avoid prosecution or something, let me assure you: There’s been no breaking of laws or impeachable offenses in this office.

The reason I’m quitting is simple. I’m fed up with you people.
I’m fed up because you have no understanding of what’s really going on in the world. Or of what’s going on in this once-great nation of ours. And the majority of you are too damned lazy to do your homework and figure it out.

Let’s start local. You’ve been sold a bill of goods by politicians and the news media.

Meanwhile, all you can do is whine about gas prices, and most of you are too damn stupid to realize that gas prices are high because there’s increased demand in other parts of the world, and because a small handful of noisy idiots are more worried about polar bears and beachfront property than your economic security.

We face real threats in the world. Don’t give me this ‘blood for oil’ thing.
If I were trading blood for oil I would’ve already seized Iraq ’s oil fields and let the rest of the country go to hell.

And don’t give me this ‘Bush Lied…People Died’ crap either. If I were the liar you morons take me for, I could’ve easily had chemical weapons planted in Iraq so they could be ‘discovered.’ Instead, I owned up to the fact that the intelligence was faulty.

Let me remind you that the rest of the world thought Saddam had the goods, same as me. Let me also remind you that regime change in Iraq was official US policy before I came into office.

Some guy named ‘ Clinton ‘ established that policy. Bet you didn’t know that, did you?

Now some of you morons want to be led by a junior senator with no understanding of foreign policy or economics, and this nitwit says we should attack Pakistan , a nuclear ally.

And then he wants to go to Iran and make peace with a terrorist who says he’s going to destroy us. While he’s doing that, he wants to give Iraq to al Qaeda, Afghanistan to the Taliban, Israel to the Palestinians, and your money to the IRS so the government can give welfare to illegal aliens, who he will make into citizens, so they can vote to re-elect him.

He also thinks it’s okay for Iran to have nuclear weapons, and we should stop our foreign aid to Israel . Did you sleep through high school?

You idiots need to understand that we face a unique enemy. Back during the cold war, there were two major competing political and economic models squaring off. We won that war, but we did so because fundamentally, the Communists wanted to survive, just as we do. We were simply able to out spend and out-tech them.

That’s not the case this time. The soldiers of our new enemy don’t care if they survive. In fact, they want to die. That’d be fine, as long as they weren’t also committed to taking as many of you with them as they can.

But they are. They want to kill you, and the bastards are all over the globe.

You should be grateful that they haven’t gotten any more of us here in the United States since September 11. But you’re not. That’s because you’ve got no idea how hard a small number of intelligence, military, law enforcement, and homeland security people have worked to make sure of that.

When this whole mess started, I warned you that this would be a long and difficult fight.

I’m disappointed how many of you people think a long and difficult fight amounts to a single season of ‘Survivor.’

Instead, you’ve grown impatient. You’re incapable of seeing things through the long lens of history, the way our enemies do. You think that wars should last a few months, a few years, tops.

Making matters worse, you actively support those who help the enemy Every time you buy the New York Times, every time you send a donation to a cut-and-run Democrat’s political campaign, well, dang it, you might just as well Fed Ex a grenade launcher to a Jihadist. It amounts to the same thing.

In this day and age, it’s easy enough to find the truth. It’s all over the Internet. It just isn’t on the pages of the New York Times, USA Today, or on NBC News.

But even if it were, I doubt you’d be any smarter. Most of you would rather watch American Idol or Dancing with Stars.

I could say more about your expectations that the government will always be there to bail you out, even if you’re too stupid to leave a city that’s below sea level and has a hurricane approaching.

I could say more about your insane belief that government, not your own wallet, is where the money comes from. But I’ve come to the conclusion that were I to do so, it would sail right over your heads.

So I quit. I’m going back to Crawford.

I’ve got an energy-efficient house down there (Al Gore could only dream) and the capability to be fully self-sufficient for years. No one ever heard of Crawford before I got elected, and as soon as I’m done here pretty much no one will ever hear of it again. Maybe I’ll be lucky enough to die of old age before the last pillars of America fall.

Oh, and by the way, Cheney’s quitting too.

That means Pelosi is your new President. You asked for it. Watch what she does carefully, because I still have a glimmer of hope that there are just enough of you remaining who are smart enough to turn this thing around in 2008.

So that’s it. God bless what’s left of America .

Some of you know what I mean. The rest of you, kiss off.

PS - You might want to start learning Farsi, and buy a Koran.

4 Comments so far

  1. Bush quits « Freunde der offenen Gesellschaft October 16th, 2008 12:04 pm

    [...] Dodgeblogium » If Bush got totally fed up… Dieser Eintrag wurde von Daniel Fallenstein am Do, 16. Okt 2008 um 13:03 geschrieben, abgelegt [...]

  2. Lois Uhlman October 16th, 2008 05:28 pm

    He should have quit 8 years ago before he wrecked America-financially and in the eyes of our Allies. his lack of ignoring our constitution in allthe secret laws he passed also didn’t help the country!!!

  3. ptsargent October 17th, 2008 07:03 pm

    I read this piece some six months ago in an email sent me by a friend. Were I Bush this is exactly what I would say to the slack jawed faggots who have opposed the Iraq war (and all other wars including WWII) and to those in the USA who still read the liberal-leftie-b.s.-laden so-called mainstream media. Ah but I repeat myself.

  4. Wind Rider October 18th, 2008 10:28 pm

    Excellent piece Andrew. The only quibble I’d offer would be the assertion that ‘we’ ‘won’ the cold war.

    Maybe on the international front.

    On the US domestic front, recent events make a pretty strong argument that the fifth column’s long march may be about to produce a significant strategic victory for worldwide Marxism from within our own borders.

    If, and I say if, Obama is elected, it will be historic. Not because Obama is an African American. But because it will be the first time a Bolshevik will have captured the American Presidency.

    At least we won’t have to worry about being creative enough to lament the passing of the American Golden Age - I’m sure the State propaganda organs will tell us how lucky we were to have been saved from over 225 years of virtual anarchy and underclass proletariat suffering, which we can read about as we stand in line waiting for (insert staple, good, or service here).

    Ironic that we ’saved the world’ from communism, only to ourselves succumb.