Something about a Fridge
By Andrew Ian Dodge

So what exactly are we doing then Sage? queried Claire. Surely this is a bit tame for you to be driving all the way to Hampshire for?

Oh no you will enjoy this, replied the Sage, peering through papers on his lap as his friend and colleague Claire drove the Land Rover. There is no danger in this one just a bit of clean-up.

I have heard that one before and it never is that simple is it? replied Claire.

Well as long as you dont go stepping into any voids you will be fine, he smirked, I will make sure you avoid ending up in some other dimension.

What are we up to?

Youll see in a bit, he was almost laughing by now. Have I ever steered you wrong?

Dont even get me started, she paused, I have scars to show for it as well! And we dont get danger pay.

What you get paid?

Ugh, you are in one of your moods arent you? She concentrated on the road. You are more dangerous when you are in a good mood than any other time. Now you got me all paranoid.

Well a little paranoia in our game isnt necessarily that bad now is it?

Oh hush you clever ole git, she grimaced while smiling. If you wind me up any more we may end up a ditch and not get there at all!

Look a mate of mine on the local police force asked me to head over and check a house that was a bit odd. He has been with me on a few other endeavours and he wanted me to take a look at the house. The owner seems to have gone missing and the house is a bit here & there.

Here & there? she queried.

Well he seems to think from reading what the guy was working on that there might be an interdemensional gate or something in the house or maybe even more than one.

Oh shite!

Oh dont worry, from what he showed me via his camera phone its stuck in a loop. You chuck something in and it comes out on the other side of the room.

I see, she turned the vehicle onto a drive and continued towards a house. Ah no green tinge that is a good start. I bloody hate it when we go somewhere and that awful green tinge is about. Gives me the creeps.

Generally that is the whole ideathere wont be any tinge here or that stench.. Just a bunch of papers for me to examine and a few holes to plug.

She stopped the car in front a detached cottage that was covered in a bit of greenery but nothing too worrying. A tall man standing bolt upright was next to the front door.

Ah this but be your police mate, she knew by his stance he was Police via a stint in the military. At ease was still an intimidating sight.

Afternoon Sir!

Oh please knock off the Sir, Thad. There is no superior hanging around to give you gruff for not addressing me properly. The Sage paused and got a bit more serious, so before we go in. No sign of the occupant and nothing else happening.

No Sir, er I mean Sage, I stayed here last night to make sure no one bothered the place and it was normal except for the fridge and that odd bit on the wall I showed you. Nothing nasty showed up to bother me. Sky even works nicely; better than at my place in town.

Well that is good. Maybe when I am finished you can buy this place in probate.

On my salary, not bloody likely, he sighed.

Well we could always put the word about its haunted? I am sure if anyone spots me here the pricell go down a bit.

Haha, so you are as bad for house prices as you are on my nerves Andrew? quipped Claire.

Oh damn where are my mannersthis is Claire. I brought her along to show her what do when this sort of thing happens. She is convinced I am holding back and something nasty is about to befall us. You can reassure I hopeI am failing rather badly.

Thad shock Claires hand and showed her into the bungalow. See nothing to worry about

So what is it about the fridge?

Open it and seenothing gruesome or anything. In fact its probably the cleanest bachelor fridge in the land!

She walked into the galley kitchen; so beloved in these days of open plan living and opened the door.

Well that is more pleasant than out of date milk & pizza, she said as she stood in front of the gently swirling void that took up the inside of the vintage looking fridge.

Thad picked up a tennis ball and flung it by her. As she spun around she saw him catch the ball as flew at him from his left.

That is where it comes back into the house.

The Sage was in the lounge looking over the pile of papers, charts and books littered on the table.

Ah yes, I thought as much! He paused as was his wont, he was trying to do a jump hack!

A what? Replied Claire.

A jump hack is the modern term for an age ole quest. Clever people have always tried to figure out a way of using various methods of instant travel via dimensions to be able to jump around in their own world. Its actually quite easy, but requires precise timing and lots of concentration.

Its easy

Yes, quite. Wise men and mystics have done it for millennia. In fact many norms do it as well and dont even know it. Mostly right before they die.

What…now you got me really confused

:Claire, you are a witch you must have heard of people seeing a rather ill loved one right before they die even thousands miles away. People think its a ghost; in fact its actually the person broadcasting themselves to where they wish to be.

So they arent a ghost?

Neither noticed Thad step back from Claire when she was referred to as a witch. It was the first time he had heard someone referred to that way in a positive sense.

Well technically nono more so than when certain prophets were seen to take journeys across vast distances. They arent actually moving; its just their broadcast of their image. Of course, some great men can actually move themselves via the same method over distances. That is a very rare talent and one that mystical seekers have been trying to achieve for millennia.

So what happened to this guy?

Not sure he could have managed it and is now trying to get back here via conventional means. Since its been several weeks I rather doubt it. Probably he lost his concentration and punted himself into another dimension or space. After all chaos theory tells us there are infinite number of dimensions occupying any one space.

Oh god not that again! He covered her ears mockingly. The last time you were on that subject I had a headache for a day.

Thad cleared his throat, so Sage what do we do about it. Even if I get the house I dont want the hole in theerwhatever in my wall. My mother would never let me live it down.

Oh its very simple. All you two need to do is pick up the fridge and chuck it into the hole in the wall. That will cause it to feedback and close. Might be a bit of shaking but nothing serious. Ill stay seated here if you dont mind.

His two companions in the house looked at him in both disbelief and some frustration.

You mean thats it? No incantation or ceremony? Spluttered Thad.

Oh no, nothing so grandiose. Not everything is so complicated you two. In most cases its merely know what to do. He paused again. Thad you dont mind if I take this stuff do you? If he returns I can always send it back. He has done some great research here. Very bright lad; just got a bit to cockyI suspect.

Ah yes too clever by half known quita a few of those quipped Claire heading over to the fridge with Thad.

Yes, if he ever returns I would love to have a chat with him. He doesnt look like he was trying anything dark or dodgy. This was esoteric in nature but still very scientific in method.

Yes, its so nice when they are not trying to bring some nasty or other into our world because they cant get their leg over or something Claire had hit cynical mode.

Ouch replied Thad.

What? Despite what you see in films its almost always men mucking about with that sort of thing. Women are too bloody clever to be that arrogant.

But

Actually, despite what it sounds like Thad, she is not on some feminist rant. It tends to be disaffected men more often than women. There are some bloody evil women in the world but then tend to just use mortal charms to do their deeds.

Oh, Thad paused, I guess its the same in police work mostly.

Thad what Claire and I do is not so different from what you do just slightly different methods once we find the buggers.

Oh lets get this fridge in the hole. I would rather not do this at night might attract some unwanted attention. He squatted down next to the fridge. Ready Claire?

As I ever will be, she squatted in a similar manner and used her legs to lift the fridge.

They carried it towards the hole in the wall tipping it towards the spot.

Push the top in a bit and then give it a good shove. Then cover over by me and watch.

They did as they were told and bolted across the room just as the whole house shuddered as if hit by an earthquake.

Claire tripped and fell into Thad. He caught her as one would expect; ending up in a slight clinch.

Both turned red and quickly got themselves to a more professional stance.

I told you would there would be a shudder.

You sod! Claire squinted at the Sage who was now smirking in his normal way.

I knew you two would get along The Sage had by now collected all before him in a bag. I think we owe this man a dinner and a few pints dont you Claire?

She spluttered and headed for the door.

Is that lovely Japanese cum Thai place still going in town?

Ah yes it isI believe the owner is keen to see you.

Yes, she is.sorted out a nice place for us to stay just to make sure I ended up there.

Mum has been after me to get you here since the last time you were around. If I didnt know any better I would say she has a crush on you.

Oh pleasejust a healthy interest in my work.

Hrm, well you did rather save her on the Isle of Wight.

You two coming or spending the night here? Asked the impatient Claire, I am hungry and need a drink of something stronger than bottled water.

As so ordered the pair headed to Land Rover and got in.

Somewhere the owner of the house sat and pondered his fate. He was unaware of the praise the Sage heaped upon him. He sat beneath a large rock and returned to concentrating.