Apr 12
Whisky & Westminster the tale
You have heard the song; now read the tale. Hey the Eagles got away with it with Desperado…
Whisky & Westminster
As I sit here in this local bar with my buddie John I watch him eyeing up the piano in the corner with ill intent. He peers over his pint and Evening Standard itching to hop on the piano to play out a tune. The drinkers and smokers in this pub have no idea they are the subjects of a new song about their time here. They while away the time until chucking out time oblivious to their new found fame. While I feign reading I contemplate how the village will take our latest effort Whisky & Westminster.
I sit and contemplate the inspiration for our latest tune. It was inspired by events that took place in this here pub a few weeks ago.
As I remember it I was sitting in this very chair sipping a pint and casting a writers eye over the occupants.
An older gentleman stood above me. Do you mind if we sit here? Are you expecting someone?
No, that is fine. I am here alone.
Excellent, we will try not to disturb replied the second more portly gentleman.
No need to worry I responded attempting to avoid looking as if I were about to listen to their chat even thought chances are I would be doing so.
After a few drags from their gin & tonics the pair huddled slightly closer together. One with a more stern look on his face that the other.
Have you heard what has happened to poor Sir Dominic?
The portly one raised himself a bit on his seat and perked up his ears. No, not anything recently no
Well his champers lifestyle is about to bite him in the arse big time
Ooh, what has he done now?
Nothing actually, for a changehis party is forcing him to resign from his position because he is alcoholic. A rather bad one from what I am told.
What, I never thought he drank much more than us Clivehe was just one of the Westminster lads
No, he drank at home too and about all the bloody time if you believe what the papers are going to be reporting!
The portly gentleman was a known scandal merchant for a tabloid. I heard about his carrying on during the election. His entourage called his bus the All Day Bender Bus as everyone was pissed most of the time. Is it true that a major donor supplied all his booze? That pub chain bloke?
The sterner man looked rather annoyed that his compatriot was taking such pleasure and harrumphed.
Look this is pretty serious for him. I think he is being treated beastly by his colleagues. I mean which one of them isnt a bit of a lush now and then? To chuck him out is just not sporting.
Oh do get with it Clive. Public displays of bad behaviour arent tolerated these days. After all remember that Tory MP lost his seat because he was seen cavorting with strippers at an after-show party?
Yeah but that is the stuffy Tories: this lot were supposed to be far calmer about this sort of thing
I twigged about the same time as the journalist.
Oh so you think you are next? Someone might expose you little secret to get your secret to get your seat? You are a blocker after all.
Dont be daft I am senior member of the party they would not take my seat away from meafter all it was years ago and in a different age!
Come on Clive it happened in the 80s not in the 60s.
Yes, but we were not even in government then. We all had a bit too much fun.
Let me guess they are trying to get rid of you to get someone less old white man in?
Yes, I have been told I have to resign for the next election or they will expose things..
What worried that your constituents would not understand the two illegitimate children you had by call girls?
Quite! Dont say it so loudly
Oh come Clive everyone knows about them in the village. We have not exposed you because no one cares about some poxy seat in the darkest corners of the North
Well needless to say; I didnt know about that particular scandal. Not that anything shocks me anymore.
Well I am running lowfancy another one said the fat one.
Yeah, give us a whiskymake it a double and not that House of Commons rubbish either.
Yeah nothing like a bit of whisky in Westminster eh? Snorted the portly tabloid reporter.
Suddenly I had something to do besides glancing off into the distance while I drank my beer. I took out a piece of paper and a pen to jot down a certain little ditty.
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