This wonderful piece of nonsense rhyme is amusing and provided lots of fun when my children were small with its rather zany view of the animal world, but a friend made me think of it again in conversation the other day with reference to the Labour Party. As he pointed out, it is not, as one would think, a homogenous party at all. It is, rather, the home of just about every single issue and crackpot philosophy going. Take a good hard look at it, starting at the top – Blair and his cabinet chums are almost to a man Public School, Grammar School and Oxbridge. Not a “working man” among them.The exception could be the arch buffoon, the Deputy Prime Minister, but, in fact he is ex-Grammar School, though one suspects that there must have been some manipulation there!

The truth is that this party embraces every crackbrained idea going. Take a look at their pronouncements; women’s issues, gay rights, ethnic rights, religious rights (except for Christians that is! – Nasty bigots and crusaders, responsible for every war since Adam in case you wondered!), “experimental” education issues, class warriors, trade unionists, centralisation of bureaucracy, intrusive regulation, childrens rights, green issues, “redistribution” tax theorists and everything from unreconstructed Marxists through to “Social Conscience” types on the wealthier end of the scale. Lurking within the Party are still groups whose idea of Utopia is the enslave the rest of the nation to their nationalised industries, with them, naturally, as the gate keepers to employment. Also lurking within the Party are those who firmly believe that they, and they alone, have the answers to all the difficult issues surrounding racist, genderist and anti-social behaviours. Then there are the regulators, who believe that by ever more restrictive regulation the world can be made prooof against all ills.

The main problem with this party is that it was founded by the Trades Unionists to represent them. At its founding the world was a dangerous and difficult place, with almost all wealth concentrated in the hands of a very small sectuion of society. Society was very divided into the classes and each was deeply conscious of their place. The founding members truly believed that only the adoption of Marx’s ideas and priniciples could ever produce a free and fair society, and, probably because no one stopped to consider what was really happening in the world, these principles seemed sound enough. Following the first world war, the old order began to fade rapidly, wealth began to filter downwards at an ever increasing rate and led, in part, to the collapse of the world economic system with the great depression. That really brought to the fore the unfairness of having a large portion of society utterly dependent on a very few for the basic wages necessary for their existence. Yet, already, the system was changing and Labour’s first government, elected in the 1930’s – and even then led by Upper Middle Class professionals – actually made the effects of the depression worse by tinkering with the economy and interventions in business which compounded the problems. Ironically, it was a Conservative MP who first proposed a Health Service funded by the State and a universal pension for those past working age or unable to work because of illness or injury, but it found no favour in the Parliament of the day.

Alongside this was the rising threat of National Socialism and Leninist Marxism, later becoming Stalinism. Again, the irony is that both used Marx’s economic theories as a foundation. And by this time it was becoming increasingly obvious that Marx had made a mess of it. The Labour government of the immediate post-war period which set up the huge bureaucracy that is now Whitehall, that nationalised industries, set up a welfare state the country could not afford even then, that established the health service and several other “national” welfare schemes, actually created a series of monsters, built on “socialist” theories and all of them so unworkable that most have had to be dismantled and broken up. The exception is the health service which politicians of all sides know is not working but they do not have the courage to do what needs to be done – a complete top to bottom redesign and recreation, dumping all the socialist claptrap along the way.

The present Labour Party can’t make up it’s mind about what it is, precisely because it is a hybrid beast, a dangerous hybrid which brings together the worst in nationalism, the worst in over-regulation, and the worst in “single issue” politics. There is no “heart” and there is no “soul” because, like the Hydra it has so many causes, issues, and agendas it can only function as a unified entity if it has at its head a Dictator. The moment he relaxes his grip, they will turn on him and lurch off along some truly damaging ideological path. Attending a “Fringe” meeting of this party is an interesting experience. One soon discovers that “Militant” Labour is not dead, it hasn’t even left the Party, it has simply learned to keep its head down and bide its time. You also learn that the Socialist Worker Party is very much a Labour Party surrogate, even having its own representatives among Blair’s faithful. Then there are the single issue tykes, and there are legion of them! Everything from nationalise everything through to anti-vivsection and anti-motorist is there and is encouraged. To hear some of these idiots speak you would think that everything in the world’s ills can be solved by unilateral disarmament, by having a single wage structure for all employment, by closing all nuclear power stations and building wind farms, by moving all rural dwellers into cities, and by outlawing motoring. You hear earnest speakers on such wonderful topics as “universal welfare”, outlawing all private schools and private anything. The last one I heard was a group of Union officials lobbying for fair wages in some place I had difficulty finding on a map – but at the same time their own members were in dispute at home, but apparently that was less importanbt than the rights of workers they have no mandate to represent!

That is still a part of the problem, of course. Labour is still thinking in terms of the 19th Century philosophy of Marx, with a little overlay from the 1920’s and 30’s. Very much part of their ethos is the concept of a “global” worker paradise, hence their love of the Communist “International Brigade” anthem from the Spanish Civil War – “The International” or “Red Flag”.

As far as I can see there are only two types of people who bother to vote for this collection of frauds, lunatics, and sinister “collectivists”. First there is the group who, for whatever reason think that Labour really does represent their interests. Usually these are poorly educated manual labourers and unemployed people on benefits. Then there is the much more difficult group who vote for Labour on prinicples of “Social Conscience”, particular issues they have espoused, and because they actually believe that a socialist world order will make life better for every single inhabitant of the planet. It is this last group that I find impossible to understand. They simply refuse to accept that nowhere in the world where Socialism has been tried, enforced or imposed in any of its many forms, has it produced well being for all, fairness, or equality. In all instances an elite group subsume all power to themselves and simply enslave everyone else. Fine for the Nomenclatura, but pretty bloody tough on everyone else.

It is my belief that, if Blair wins another term in office, this nation will split into its component parts – it may already be too late to halt that slide – its industries and services will further degrade and be strangled by the increasing bureaucracy arising from the avalanche of gold plated regulations pouring from Whitehall, and the continued growth of the Civil Service. Figures released this month show that the Civil Service now employs one in every four people in work! No wonder the nations commercial and industrial base is slowly being strangled! More worryingly, with a bureaucracy this big, it has become a political force in its own right. The sheer inertia of it is sufficient to strangle most intiatives, but its members are also voters – and as Blair has stuffed it with his placemen and toadies, they are an extremely powerful Bloc.

Even if the LibDems (to take an extreme view) succeeded in being elected to government, the Civil Service would thwart any plans that did not accord with their wishes and desires for a a Bureaucratic State. That, and any government replacing this one, will find that they have no secrets – Labour’s moles will be passing information with impunity.

The Labour Party is a dangerous and naturally dictatorial party. We should have been warned by Blair’s admiration for the last great dictator this country endured – Cromwell. Getting shot of him alone will not solve the problem, as his successor designate is even more dictatorial. At present that is all that holds this disparate group together – that and they are terrified of losing their grip on power, that helps Blair hold them in thrall. But, we can live in hope that his grip will slacken and the cracks will become fractures – then we will finally see exposed the nasty dark and thoroughly unholy set of alliances and deals that have brought us to this state where we are slowly but surely being stripped of our rights, our freedoms, and our nation! Let us hope that the electorate kick this lot out of office soon!