Apr 11
To His Coy Mistress
had we but World enough, and Time,
this coyness Lady were no crime.
we would sit down, and think which way
to walk, and pass our long Loves Day.
Paul Sorene in spiked:
Shall poet laureate Andrew Motion compare Camilla Parker Bowles to a summer’s day? Well, a typical British summer is overcast, grey and miserable…so why not? But as the poet laureate works hard for his paltry salary of 500, and seeks a word that rhymes with Camilla in the bottom of his stipend of 500 bottles of sherry, we feel for him.
Sure you do. Suuuuurrrre. You’re just dripping with empathy.
But enough, I feel the embers stirring. It is time to dip my quill in green ink and write something fitting. How about a Haiku, so fitting for Charles, a man interested in the ways of the Far East: ‘You spurned me long ago / So I married another / You returned to mum.’ Or the schoolboyish: ‘Roses are red / Violets are blue / Shergar is missing / So you’ll have to do.’But, hold on a moment, I’ve got it. And, what’s more, I’ve found a word that rhymes with Camilla.
‘Camilla / Polyfilla?’
Pretty lame, Paul. Fortunately, the last time I checked, England is still a member of the Commonwealth, which means that we can exchange poetry hints and iambic or trochaic verse (measuring not more than thirteen feet) tariff-free.
I put on my versifier’s cape, fired up my pipe, and quickly came up with these, which should be good for a couple of stanzas:
Chinchilla, villa, killa, Gila (as in Gila Monster), and Godzilla. Also, if you can work in a reference to Muhammad Ali, you might be able to use Thrilla and Manila.
No charge, pal. For King and Country and all that.
