Feelin’ Good!
While holidaying in North England last week, I noticed a Socialist Workers Party leaflet at the local nut-job non-cyber chat room (the health food shops notice board). Being up for a laugh, low on cash and date-less, I could not resist the fun.
Id just finished Francis Wheen’s superb biography of Carl Marx. If you have the slightest interest in world politics, you must buy this book. Far from the great thinker myth, Marx comes across as a thoroughly despicable, bitter, lying, miserable hypocrite and general cad. Its a great read, buy it.
A more wretched collection of bitter losers it would be hard to unearth. After a 1hr anti-Bush rant from our dear leader, and a few calls from the audience to bring down the Bush/Blair axis, we repaired to the bar.
A woman of uncomfortable appearance (deodorant being bourgeois decadence), assured me that she no longer read the Guardian, Its gone soft she assured we should be closing down schools and hospitals, not participating in the bosses government. Right on sister.
An interesting chap, who can work but chooses to live courtesy of my taxes declared his past elegance to the militant side Im not into that stuff no more he assured now Im just into bringing down the government. I was then asked to hand over a further 50p for beer, which I proceeded to do, under silent protest.
Apparently, Britain is to reach a shinning new dawn as Parliament is dismantled, to be replaced by workers comities. Didnt they try that in Moscow once? Cant see a Supreme Soviet in No.10 myself.
Heres the clincher.. While we chatted, Saddams court appearance came on the news. Being a baby-eating, fox molesting Tory I exclaimed with delight at the old dictators demise, the SWP crowd turned their backs and pretended ignorance. Isnt it great! I declared in sad innocence. Look theyve got Saddam in court I exclaimed with Right wing joy, No one said a word. You could have heard a severed hand drop.
Someone looked at my paper, The Daily Telegraph. Augh, cover blown, I eased out of the pub before being shaken down for more capitalist beer money.
Friends, if your low & insecure, if your cars on the blink and your waist line grows by the hour. If your egos in the gutter and bank accounts in the red. Take yourself down to a SWP meeting and walk out feeling the cleverest, wittiest, most brilliant scholar in town.
I did.
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1 commentOne Thing Leads To Another
and oh, my god, look,
you have just discovered
the way that one thing can lead to another
—pet shop boys
Ain’t that the truth. For instance, you could go here and milk the cows before they explode.
But that leads to a lot of milk. So you could make some ice cream with it. What flavor, though?
Maybe the Japanese have some ideas. They have some, uh . . . different concepts for ice cream flavors, such as lettuce and potato, red wine, and tulips.
Or this.
Which leads to nausea.
1 comment
